The Next Page

I promised to tell you more about that night in the hospital with Wayne. So here it is.
I didn't sleep much that night and sometime during the night I just was resting on the bed, and as I looked up at the ceiling I felt like everything in the room and the hallway went dark. All I could see was a bright light that looked like it was was up at the end of a tunnel. Iwas facinated and kept staring at the light. I didn't see anything but the light. Now if this sounds strange to you I don't blame you, but it was there. Finally, I said "God, I'm going to assume this is for me to talk to you. So here is what is on my heart. I might be crazy, but you know I have secretly been thinking about another baby. Now, all I want is for Wayne to be ok. If you will heal him, I will never ask you for another child."

I think most people will try to bargain with God if they are scared enough. Even people who aren't sure they believe He is real. So, I asked, and meant it with all my heart.

The next day we went home after Wayne's tests and went back to a normal life. The following month I found out that I was pregnant. I was a little confused about my feelings for a couple days but then realized I had kept my end of the bargain so I could relax and be happy. I told John on Christmas eve and he was happy too. Our new little one was due to arrive at the beginning of August but he made his entrance on July 28, my birthday. He was another 7 lb. and ? oz. We named him Scott Marshall. What a blessing he was to us. And still is. Well, we're up to six now and I have always said we had the two, John wanted and the four I wanted. Was this perfect or what!

Now, I had my hands full and you can believe that. Our life was very full and my wonderful husband decided to take up a hobby for himself. It was a CB radio. He loved it, and I hated it as much as he loved it. Probably more. All his spare time was spent talking to people on this thing. He did his best to try to get me interested in it but I wanted no part of it. It got worse when he worked nights and came home about 8:30 ish and was on the radio until about an hour before the older kids came home from school, then he went to bed and I had to keep the noise level down so he could sleep untill about 10:30 in the evening so he could eat and go to work. Most of the kids only saw him on his days off. I became more and more depressed, and yes, very angry. This continued for about four years. I tried to go to a christmas party and a picnic with him a couple of times but I couldn't enjoy myself. I think I began to experience some of the old panic attacks I had in school. I just would shake before we got to one of these gatherings. I didn't tell John about these anymore than I told my parents about school. I'm sure if I had told him we would have resolved this radio issue long before we did.
Well my time is up again and so I need to go. My girlfriends are taking me out tonight for my birthday. I have already been out twice this week. First, my boss (and good friend Sharon)and four ladies I work with took both, John and I out to eat. The next night was my(our) birthday and we took Scott out for dinner to celebrate our birthday. Now, tonight one more outing. I feel pretty special. Thank you for all the birthday wishes they were sent to me from facebook.

Goodbye dear friends and loving family.